Oops. Didn’t update my training since June. Bad blog.
That isn’t to say I wasn’t training, because I have been. Training my little tuckus off. Long runs, rides and swims, work, and a mini 3 day vacation have occupied my summer. And I’ve had a great summer – flew right by. I simply forgot to update.
And now, here I am. My countdown app on my phone says that I have 3 days, 18 hours, and 50 minutes until the start of Ironman Muskoka.
And I’m a little bit terrified. And by a little, I mean A LOT. I know I’ve done the training. I know I should be fine. The majority of the time I am fine. But then The Fear hits me when I’m least expecting it and I have a little bit of an internal meltdown. It never lasts more than a minute at a time, but there are becoming more frequent as the race gets closer. Lying on the couch with The Husband and The Dog watching TV and I’ll become extremely nervous and just let out one pathetic sigh. And The Husband laughs at me. He always asks whats wrong, even though he knows what is wrong, and the answer is always the same.
Because nothing is wrong. Not really. I have a family that loves me. Great friends. A job that I enjoy. A sport that challenges and inspires me daily. Nothing that is going on really fits into the category of something being “wrong”. I’m just nervous and I’m more nervous about the unknown than I am about the known.
I know that its going to be a tough day. I know that I’m not a strong cyclist – this is a hard bike course and there is the chance I won’t make the bike cut off (though theoretically I should be fine unless I get ALL THE FLAT TIRES). I know that this is going to be a solid chunk of my day:
But while these things are on my mind, they’re not really what I’m nervous about. I’m nervous because so much is out of my control.
As The Husband tells me regularly, I’m a bit of a control freak. And much to my chagrin, I don’t control the following things:
- The Weather (though that looks pretty good)
- The length of time that sunscreen is good for
- People crashing in front of me on the bike
- The fact that its orange Gatorade on the bike course (seriously? Orange?? Blah.)
- The sun going down before I finish the run (its possible I will, but not probable)
- The 800m walk back to the hotel after I’m done seems really far
- Getting in the shower and feeling all the chafing burning that I know will be there regardless of what I do
But, the race is coming and I’m going to give it my all in 3 days, 18 hours and 14 minutes. Nerves be damned.